What is kink/bdsm?

This feels like it’s a loaded question. What is kink and BDSM? I’m hoping to expand on that exact question throughout my blog.

But shouldn’t it be an easy question to answer? Well, yes and no. There are so many layers to each that it can be an hours long conversation.

So, lets start with the basics. The basic definitions.

Kink is a general term that is used for “Non-normative” sexual behavior. This can include fetishes, like BDSM, leather and more. What one person see’s as kinky can be seen as someone else as normal.

So what is BDSM? This is a term that breaks down into different aspects of the abrivation inlcuding:

-Bondage and discipline

-Dominance and submission

-Sadism and masochism

Within these terms there are verying types of lifestyles or subcultures. Some of the most widely known is bondage or being restrained. This can be done with ropes or cuffs of different materials.

Dominance and submission is more so about the dynamics that a person can fall under. Other terms that can be used under this can be Top, bottom, Master, slave, Owner, property, pet, etc. It all depeneds on the person for what terms that fit them. Also, like in real life personality types on the Kinzy scale, your level of Dominance and submission can be more than just one or the other. You can also be a switch. Which is that you can bounce between both.

Then there is sadism and masochism. This breaksdown to those who gain pleasure from giving pain and those who gains pleasure through receiving pain.

Then there is the leather, pet play, latex, service, littles, and many other subculture communities that also fall under the BDSM/kink community. Like the Kinzy personality scale this is the same for all verieited of kinks.

You can have an adult female that identifies herself as a submissive, little, kitten, leather lover, who hates being in bondage, but loves service and is a mild masochist, but loves watching people be tied up in rope.

As another example you can have a female Top, who loves to be tied up by her submissive while she degades them, and is a switch when it comes to pain play.

Everyone is different.

Just be cause you might identify as a Top or a bottom doesn’t mean that you have to follow the traditional definitions of what a Top or bottom is.

I like to think of the definitions of what is kink and BDSM as guidelines. Everything always seems to be evolving.

Now, here is a big shocker for you all. All of these things can be non-sexual between the people who are participating. It can also be a sexual event for both parties. It can also be done so as a type of foreplay or flirting with partners.

Yes, you heard me right there. This doesn’t have to be sexual. I know what you are sayhing or thinking and there is a lot of buts with it. It is fully possible to have a scene that can turn everyone with still keeping your bits in the pants.

Down the line I will do additional blog posts about individual conceptes that fall within BDSM and kinks. One post is not enough to truly define and describe everything that falls under them.

I hope you all enjoy exploring more about kink and BDSM.